Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Visitor - A Tale for Valentines

I've often likened myself to an island.  I love people, and I love music.  Those two things quite suffice.

However, one of dearest friends in Liverpool said something that got me thinking way back when.  She said, "Sarah, you know, it's strange - I'd consider you one of my best friends, but I know very little about you."

She was right.  I know so many people and could chat the day away, but as excruciatingly social as I am, I am also intensely guarded.  I've always figured that I had a certain amount of transparency and that people could just inherently "know" me.  Well, they may, but I'm not the greatest at getting very close with people.

I'm even worse at using the word boyfriend.

I am a lover of humans.  I thrive on human interaction, and am happy to galavant about and join in whatever people just might get up to.  It is as though the entire world is my boyfriend.  

I had an odd thought lately, but I'm going to share it with you anyway.  You should expect this by now.  

When I'd started dating someone a bit back in the day in Liverpool, a friend of mine said, "Sarah - it's just strange.  And this isn't meant to sound horrible, but it's almost like you're asexual.  I just can't imagine anyone being attached to you."

I thought that was hilarious, and actually quite accurate!  As I said, it is as though the world is my boyfriend.  It's almost as though I have this silly sense of duty to the world to love everyone and be everything I can be for them, so to have someone, one person, who I call my boyfriend or even, maybe, you know, fall in LOVE with, would just be ludicrous and a huge disservice to all of the lovely humans.

I did tell you it was an odd thought.

But, here's the thing.

This island had a visitor.

The visit was far more brief than I'd have cared for it to be, but it happened.  Someone got to this island.  It was good.  It was fun.  He was lovely.  I wasn't expecting it, and I got more out of it than I could have possibly anticipated.  Even when it ended, it ended with a three hour, wonderful conversation that literally ended a phase of chaos and helped me learn a great deal about myself.  

I'm not an island, I suppose.  And letting someone get to me, while possibly a disservice to all the other humans in the world (oh gee, laugh out loud, etc.), turned out to be wonderful.  

A few things that I got from this:  

I know even more lovely humans.
I learned that it turns out, I'm a pretty good girlfriend.
I learned that I don't have to worry about being able to handle work, working out, dieting, a social life, plus having a companion along for the ride.  I can do it.
I was reminded how wonderfully we all deserve to be treated and can't wait for it to happen again someday.

I also got Mister Breakfast.  It just happened, and we had to elaborate...  See below.

I'm spending Valentines Day running around town in a red polka dot shirt my Mom got for me handing out silly Lego Star Wars & holographic kitten and puppy valentines with candy hearts in them to all of my favorite humans, and probably a few I don't even know.  And then I'm going to have dinner with one of my favorite ladies in the world.  And then I'm going to smile for a moment and look forward to when I have another island visitor to share it with someday.

I do have copious amounts of love for you all.  Have the happiest Valentines Day.











50 comments:

  1. The third one down is me before my morning coffee. Lol Happy Valentines Day my friend :)

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    Replies
    1. I feel that feel, woman! Haha. Happy Valentines to you, too!

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  4. LOL, your imagination seems to be limitless :) I will have to make the same for my GF, looks pretty easy and hilarious

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  14. I completely relate to what you are saying Sarah. I see myself as a bit of an island sometimes; I'm very social like you but at the same time I can be quite guarded. I don't really let people in, although I'm quite sure it's not because I'm afraid to get hurt, I'm just quite happy being single. One day this will probably change though :)

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  38. I know exactly what you mean about being an island - and I have a seriously hard time at using the word boyfriend too :)

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  39. I can't believe it's nearly valentines day again :)

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  40. It is hard to be transparent - to let people on the island. I have been with my partner for five years, but I still feel like there is so much I don't know about her. I guess I don't need to know everything, and neither does she need to know everything about me, it is like our lives started when we met and nothing else prior is all that relevant, so it never comes up.

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  41. If word 'boyfriend' is hard, wait till you have to say 'i love you' -- i struggled with it for so long that almost lost my partner! but at the end saying it was so nice :)

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