Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Fashionably Late-r than ever.

It has been over a year since we've chatted, readers.  I named my blog partly because of the fact that I am very much a late bloomer, and largely because I am almost always late.  Well...  Better late than never.

To try and catch you up with everything my mind, body, and heart have gone through and learned in the last year in one blog post would just be silly.  So where do we start?

The end.  The beginning of the end.  Or, well...  A new beginning.

This blog began when a late bloomer was asked by so many to share her weight loss story - of growth, of struggles, tips, advice, hope, inspiration, defeat, a fair few archaeological discoveries, and a handful of other things that became part of her life changing.  The pounds began to shed.  My mind and body became stronger.  Becoming part of a community of you all who have been, are going, or are about to go through it by sharing through this blog helped me accomplish great things.  It gave me accountability.  It helped me sort through the remarkable chaos that is my brain at times.  It gave me support, goals, and so many people who helped me succeed by becoming a part of my little journey.

But what happens when things aren't so great?

You stop writing in your blog for over a year.
You can't do a single push-up.
You can't plank for 3 minutes anymore.
That pilates video that was too easy now seems impossible.
You don't make healthy meals at home on the regular.
You eat thoughtlessly and have developed a sweet tooth.
Your clothes still fit, but where they once were up against 190lbs of lean, mean, muscle machine, they now slightly cut in to 205lbs of wiggly, wobbly, fluffiness.
You now look like you weigh 205lbs, whereas before, that 190lbs was a toned-up-almost-size-10.
That picture of you 2 years ago when you were healthier and happier than you've ever been is now more difficult to look at than a photo of you from 4 years ago when you could barely work out the logistics of which bathroom stall you'd fit into best.
You forget that you can once again ride roller coasters.
You forget that you can shop in pretty much any store you want, and you own clothes that legitimately fit and have the size Medium in them.
You forget that walking a 5k in less than 40 minutes is the usual.
You forget that you now opt to ride your bike to work, and then go on bike rides for 20 miles like it ain't no thing.
You forget that so many people who worried about you for so long, but loved you as you were, are still happy to see you living life in ways you kept yourself from living before.
You get annoyed that people who know you as you are don't realize where you've come from, but before, looked forward to the day when people didn't know you as you were, but just as you are now.
You forget that you've had so many new experiences that are possible because of how you chose to change your life.
You think you have pretty moments, but don't like yourself as much these days.
You see all the things you didn't do, didn't do as well as you wanted to, or did wrong - and you never think about all the things you did, did well, and did right.
You have the most colorful, varied, brilliant, distinctive, wonderfully ridiculous, perfectly peculiar, absurdly loving bunch of fictional characters that are your real-life friends.
You have little cousins that see you in your bathing suit and say, "Remember when you used to be fat?!"

I am flawed.  I haven't made the best choices.  I've stumbled.
I sometimes feel like a failure.

And then I remember.

I am an intelligent, talented, respected, beautiful person who loves people and is so very fortunate to be loved in return.  I have had my dream jobs.  I've lived in another country.  I have an amazing job at a Michigan craft brewery that has so much potential it's silly, and I work with a cluster of dynamic, passionate, driven, supportive people.  I've had little adventures that you think only happen in the movies, but really happen every day.  I have so much to be thankful for, and so much to look forward to.

I was Sarah Bauman who lost 123lbs, her life changed, then wound up a bit lost.

As of today, I'm Sarah Bauman who's lost zero pounds, is choosing to change her life again, and can see the path off to the left, but just needs to cut through some overgrown shrubbery and will be right back on it.

I'm a late bloomer for life.  Sometimes things take a little while.  But while I have life, I choose to accept that blooming late is better than never.

I'm back.  I've missed you all.  Here we go again.




7 comments:

  1. Great post Sarah. You are AWESOME! I look forward to seeing more of your journey and where life takes ya. HAVE AN EPIC DAY!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I live in Kalamazoo too! Would love to join you on a bike ride. I need your enthusiasum.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Phenomenal post Sarah!
    Brilliant, it *really* made me think. To me, the truest reality of long term extreme weight loss is that it is a journey, not a destination. It is NOT linear, we lose some, we gain some, some falls off, and it wriggles its way back on. When you join the triple digit club, as we both have, the idea of any "finish line" becomes completely trivial. We continue to push forward of course, but the true finish line lies in our thinking, our frame of mind.
    Socrates once said:
    “No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”
    This quote is invaluable and something I think everyone should take to heart, but at the same time, if we're on the subject of philosophy, my favorite has always been Marcus Aurelius. Socrates' words above are meaningless to me if they aren't taking in the mindset of Marcus Aurelius - he states:
    "Be content with what you are, and wish not for change, nor dread your last day, nor long for it.....when you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive; to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love."
    And most importantly: "Confine yourself to the present."

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hello new friend! I didn't lose as much weight as you did before, but I've lost 50-60 pounds a couple times and ended up back trying again a year or two later. I'm back again, having just started to blog after a two year absence! It just needs to be done and I will be here watching and working hard along with you. Loved this post. xo Amy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sarah! You are beautiful -- inside and out!!!! It's so nice to see your pictures! I know what a struggle it is to carry around extra pounds. Thanks for sharing!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete