Wednesday, July 25, 2012

YO. Reality Check (one two, what is this?!)

So, you remember that on and off switch I mentioned a while back?  Well, I know I said that I was ready to turn the whole weight loss thing up a notch because I've been too casual about it lately.

That hasn't happened yet.  

Time for some honesty, people.  When I go quiet, it's because I'm ashamed.  And here is why.

I've been burning the candle from both ends and then once it was out, picked up the wax, melted it, stuck a piece of yarn in it to try and reuse it as a candle until eventually I was out of light and had acquired a pointless ball of waxy stuff.  I burned myself out, but it's been fun.  Downside?  I'm back up to 196lbs, peoples.  I was down to 188, but I've had a complete lack of self-control with food in the midst of all the fun I've had.  

I made myself take a break from freaking out and being so obsessive over losing weight.  I needed to lighten up and do a bit of living.  The problem is, I let myself go a little too far.  SWITCH - off.  I had such a good balance going around the beginning of July and got down to 188, but then started finding comfort in food when a lot of life changes began overwhelming me a bit.

What do do you when life comes at you from every which way?  I've freaked out a little bit, which I'm sure you can tell looking back at my more recent blogs.  Finding balance, questioning things, feeling defeated, losing focus - these things happen.  But, it sucks.  I got it together for a little while, but I'm still a bit flustered.  

In an effort to regroup, I've been reading up on some of life's biggest stress-causers.  Change, even great change, can throw you for a loop!  I'm still in mid-loop-throw, it would seem.  But, a good chat with your parents, some organization, and structure go a long way.

So, unless it involves some sweet, old-school hiphop, no buggin' out necessary.  


  1. Great post! Thanks! I can totally relate. I am more or less at the same stage at the moment, but having been a bulimic, it is important to give way to times when I surrender control of my eating. If I don't do that when I need it, binge eating comes back. If I need to choose between staying in my currents weight or staying free from binge eating, I'll always choose the second, even if it means putting on weight. However hard losing weight is, it is harder to get over bulimia.

  2. Right there with you, although far from your success. I am trying to get refocused and not get upset with myself too much after allowing myself to gain back 7 lbs when I am still 60 away from my goal. GL!

  3. Ok, I don't even have a scale anymore. Every morning I wake up and take a look at myself as I'm getting dressed in my full size mirror, hoping unreasonably that while I slept, fat just melted off. I can't work any harder than I already am. I stumble with food, scrape my knee, pick myself up and keep on trucking. I visit sites (like yours) that give me inspiration and that remind me to keep perspective. This is just a hiccup for you on a very long road trip. Good luck!