Insert GRRRR face here.

Yes, that's right.

I am making a squishy, probably highly unflattering BLERGGGHHH, grrrrrr, blehhhhh face right now.

Why, you ask?

I'm fluffy.  That's why.

Sarah who used to be 320+something pounds would be quite infuriated with 200lb, size-14 Sarah for complaining about her current state of being.  But, while I once was a tight, fit, size-12ish, 200lb lean, mean, dense, muscle, awesome-machine...

Now?  I am 200lbs of less muscle and a lot more wiggle.

Here's the thing.  Life happens.  It is pretty easy to commit to getting super buff and being in full-on-workout-super-mega-beast-mode when you have a part time job, a lot of time on your hands, and a large part of your very humble income is committed to the gym.

"What shall I do on my day(s) off?  Hmm.  Work out for 2 hours.  Oh - friend wants to go for a walk and then work out later, also?  Cool!"  And then I just worked out for almost 4 hours.

This would happen a couple of times a week, along with the more "normal" workouts that were only 1-2 hours.  But let's get real, yo.

Who has 2-4 hours a day to work out when you also work at least 45 hours a week, have a home, have a life, have people you love and want to see, and you need to...oh, you know - SLEEP.  Or eat.  Or, like, actually engage in life.

I don't know how to do it all.  I don't.  I have tried to figure it out, but I really don't know.  And this, my friends, has been the single biggest struggle over the last 2 years.  I should be grateful that I am 200lbs and not 330.  I should enjoy that, while I'm not small, I'm at least still in Curvy Girl Land instead of You're Slowly Killing Yourself Land.

This brings up two huge things that are plaguing my brain of late:

1.  How do you accept where you are?  Others have lovely things to say, especially those who haven't seen you since you lost the initial weight and are so excited for you.  It's strange how, even though they're right, even the loveliest things fall on deaf ears when you aren't succeeding how you feel you should.  It's almost angering.  And, why do I still see myself as a big person?  I don't think other people who've only met me since I've been this physical version of me see me that way.  When is everything good enough?

AAAAAAND two.

I want to be really physically fit again.  How do I do that while committing more realistic amounts of time per day to fitness?  I want to commit 30-75 minutes a day to physical activity.  My knees are in a bit of a state of disarray due to my weight history, so there are a few limitations.  But I want to be STRONG again.  I want to firm up again.  How do I do that knowing full well that I can't be the person who lackadaisically spends her multiple days off per week doing whatever she fancies, part of which happens to be working out for hours on end.

Readers who are fitness types or who have already or are struggling with this - throw a girl some pointers (but please avoid squats and lunges - my knees can't take it).  I really, really need it.  I want it.  Need it, dare I say.  No, no dares.  Definitely need it.

And those of you who are or have struggled with self-perception and trying to find a way to be content with where you're at:  lend me your thoughts.

I know it may seem as though I kid when I seem as though I'm talking with you all, but I really am.  I picture you all chatting right back to me.  I've got quite a soft spot for you, I do.  There are some things that I've experience and am going through that I really hope can help others know what they're getting themselves into when they lose weight.  But also?  I'm a girl who wants to hear from others who've already gone beyond where I am.  This is a conversation - not a lecture.  So let's chat.

Let the Little Victories Commence.

Little Victories, friends.  Little things add up to such big things.

As I've talked about in this here blog many times before, one of the truest of the most true things I can relay to you (even when I'm not doing it myself...) is this:  I will never cease to be repeatedly amazed at the mighty things that can happen when you simply choose to "do."  

Pyramids weren't built in a day, blah blah blah, insert cliche here, etc.  You get it.
(Speaking of pyramids, Fat Archaeology is SO happening again.)

While I most certainly have not been perfect since my last post, here's what I have been:

Honest.

With myself, that is.

Today, I didn't stick to my calorie goal.  But, I logged it.  I put it all in MyFitnessPal and I made sure to burn off what I ate.  My workout today may not make me lighter, but it will make me more fit, and I won't gain anything.  And working out most certainly did one of the things for which I love it the most:  it made me happy.  I ate a cookie, I had a piece of cheese pizza, I drank two Whitsuns with my work team, and I am still happy.  Not beating myself up, not angry about my poor decisions - content.  And even though I didn't stick to my 1500 calories, you know what I still am?

Happy.

Little Victories are so huge.  I have a tendency to concentrate on the very large, overall picture of where I know things need to and can be, and forget that it takes many a little goal to get there.  If we constantly think about the end result without breaking it down into smaller, regular, attainable and realistic goals, we set ourselves up for a feeling of perpetual failure.  I drive myself absolutely nutty and get nothing accomplished.  It feels infinitely better to meet lots of little goals.

If memory serves me, I think I may know a girl who did just this and lost about 130lbs once upon a time...

Here are my goals for the next week:
I will work out 5 times.
I will stick to my calorie goal a minimum of 4 times.
I will make a new, kickass installment of my Sweaty Beats playlist.
I will spend a half hour per day until Saturday tidying my bedroom.  My closet kind of threw up all over...
I must see How to Train Your Dragon 2.  Seriously, though.  It has to happen.

What've you got up your sleeve?  What would you like to tackle over the next little while?  Pick a little victory in your sights, or perhaps you've already had one recently!  Share away, friends.

Feeling good feels good.

It's impossible to not feel slightly more good after listening
to this.  Walk down the street playing this in your earbuds
and tell me you don't smile.  Impossible!

It's funny how life has its ebbs and flows.  This is nothing new, but somehow it seems like an epiphany over and over again.  When you're in the thick of it, some part of you is very logical and aware that it will most certainly pass, but another part of you just can't see past it.  It's hard to remember how to get back to feeling good again.

Once I got the hang of tracking my food, eating healthier and exercising regularly, it got to be second nature. It seemed so easy.  It was the norm.  It wasn't a challenge.  It was my way of life.  It was all so simple and so good.  

I forgot how easy it can be for that to not be the norm.

After a summer and an autumn of struggle, things are finally getting back to normal.  Being the person of extremes that I am, I expected to just start back up and rule the world as I remembered doing before.  But, therein lies the problem!  I had to break my mindset of trying to get back to where was.

I

am

not

THERE anymore!  That was then.  This is now.  Move along.

A lot has changed since then.  But, things have settled down and I'm in a better place in every way now.  I love it when you finally feel something break, something give way, and you know that you're on the right path again.  Well, it's not even that you're on the correct path again - you're at a great pace and making some serious headway towards whatever intersection, bend, bridge or whatever might be on the way.

I met up with a friend last Sunday who is a dietitian.  The initial plan was to talk about food, get some good ideas for new ways of eating, and new things to eat.  It ended up being a great conversation about where I'm at in life in general and what I've got to do to progress.  

It was a healthy dose of divine intervention.  Even though the things we talked about are things I already knew, it sometimes takes the right person at the right time saying something they didn't even know they needed to that hits you, breaks you down, builds you up, and propels you all at once.

I keep forgetting that life is a process.  Things don't magically find a perfect groove forever.  You may have a good stretch, but you'll have rough ones, too.  And they will come and go, and then come and go again.  

I'm finally starting to get it.  

I don't have to do it all at once!  There are so many things I need to do, both at work, and for myself.  But I've been working on a few things at a time.  This week, my goal was to go grocery shopping and return to my regular eating and exercise habits, remembering that even if I only get a half hour of something in, it is better than nothing.  I've also tried starting my days with 10-15 minutes of some kind of exercise.  One morning, I did a 10 minute Pilates video.  Another morning, I did a bunch of core exercises.  I've overcome my urge to buy peanut butter, because if that's in my house, well - it's over.  

I've also done necessary but boring things like scheduling appointments with doctors and insurance agents, rethinking my spending habits and reworking my budget, getting organized, and figuring out a regular schedule of exercise.  I just might start going to bed earlier, too.  

You've heard me say this before, and I will say it over and over again.

It is amazing what happens when you make calculated, boring, conscious choices to simply do things.  

I'm learning that feeling good and being content is not as simple as "feeling" good.  Right now, I've got a lot to work on.  But feeling good is a choice, and it's choosing to make good decisions that will lead to a life of good, not a season of good.  

It's a new kind of goodness, but nonetheless, it feels good to feel good once again.

Run, Sarah, Run.

Tonight, I ran.

The forecast said rain.  Dusk had already set in.  But, something about getting caught in the midst of what will most likely be the last warm, rainy deluge of the season just sounded enchantingly refreshing.  IPhone in Ziplock baggie (yeah, makeshift waterproofing...), Tanlines in earbuds, I set off.

I hit record on my my MapMyRun app, and set off walking to Green Grass by Tanlines (which I have listened to at least 30 times today - no exaggeration).  Then, I started running.  What felt like about 2 minutes later, I heard the lovely voice from my app tell me, "Time:  Eight minutes and three seconds.  Distance: 1.0 miles."

Ehhhhh...  That can't be right.  I'm restarting this app...  Yeah, that can't be right.  Do over.

So, I started recording my run over again.  This time?

Lovely-app-lady voice:  "Time: Seven minutes, thirty seconds.  Distance: 1.0 miles."  She said the pace and whatnot, too, but I just couldn't believe it.

Me:  "WHAAAAAAAA?!!!  NO way..." and decided to push myself a bit.

The next mile was under 7 minutes.  So, I kept running until I heard her say, "Time:  Twenty-nine minutes, 23 seconds.  Distance:  4.0 miles."

In the middle of the sidewalk just outside of the Kalamazoo Institute of Arts, I exclaimed, "HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  HECK yes!"  Surely, everyone walking out of the museum exhibit there tonight could hear the lovely woman's voice giving me such delightful news in my ear, too...  I actually felt myself accidentally smiling at this elderly man as I walked by as though he should be really excited for me, too.  Ah well.  Worst case scenario, he'll think I'm weird.  Best case scenario, he'll get a chuckle out of it.

Forgive the rambling - I am writing this while post-run endorphins are in full effect.

Part of me wanting to keep going - just because.  Why not?  I'm feeling up for it.  And then, like a kind little nudge saying to be happy with what I'd done but not push too hard, the rain began.

Point is:  I ran 5 miles in about 38 minutes, and this is something I never imagined that I would be able to do. Little by little, I'm improving.  Push a little harder.  Run a little further.  You will be happily surprised.

Update:  I'm thinking my app was totally off.  I did some figuring, and it was really more like 45 minutes, but I am still pleased as punch with that!

SWEATY BEATS!

An installment of Sweaty Beats is well overdue.

What music has you kicking fat's miserable little bum these days?  I am a strange creature with music running through my veins and brains nearly 100% of the time.  I usually wake up with a song stuck in my head.  I often dance around the office while getting things done if I'm alone.  I dance around my house unabashedly singing along, and have a strange tendency to do things on beat.  Putting dishes away to music?  Yup - on beat.  Walking to my bathroom?  Same.  I have a playlist for both walking and using the elliptical machine, and yes - I do them on beat.  I even chew gum on beat.  I love to work out, but when a song moves me, it gives me a boost like almost no other.  Combine that with espresso, and it's dangerous.

Call me crazy if you will - it's how I roll.  

And here is what has kept me rollin' in the gym...   Please enjoy these 10 gems that I absolutely can not get enough of lately.  

1.  This Must Be The Place - Talking Heads

2.  Damaged Goods - Gang of Four
3.  Tryouts for The Human Race - Sparks (My favorite for the last month BY far.)
4.  Yeah (Crass Version) - LCD Soundsystem
5.  Hey Boy Hey Girl - The Chemical Brothers
6.  Heart of Hearts - !!!
7.  Champion Sound (Alt. Version) - Crystal Fighters
8.  Ready to Start - Arcade Fire (I can't get sick of this album, The Suburbs.)
9.  Date with The Night - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
10.  Chains of Love - The Dirtbombs
11.  Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins (Good pace, but slowin' down. Classic.)


You know I can never choose just 10...  I am utterly shocked no 60's music made it in.  There are plenty more, so keep an eye out on twitter or the facebook page for when the spirit moves me while working out and I post a goodie or two on there.

Happy working out!  Kick some bum.

Balance.

When life gives you a box of chocolates, or some lemons, or a tornado or a big sunny double rainbow - I don't know.  Feed the tornado some lemons while you juggle chocolates trying to explain to one rainbow that the other one just forgot it's not its turn that day.

Life makes just about that much sense.

These last couple of months have been interesting!  I feel as though I've fallen into a trap of apologetic blogger who means well but doesn't post enough, etc.  So, let's just get that out of the way.  Sorry I haven't been posting as diligently as I once did.  But, well, rainbows are fussy and it turns out tornadoes love lemons.  The chocolates?  Well, they looked delicious - but I'm trying to maintain my girlish figure, so I thought I may as well learn to juggle.  With chocolate.  It's been interesting trying to figure out how to balance it all.

Which brings me to today's lesson:

Balance.

How does one obtain this?  Some people just seem to inherently have it.  Others never have it, but they're really good at juggling.  Some people learn it eventually...  Others just don't have it, don't get it, and never will.  I'm not quite sure where I fall on this spectrum, but the last few months have been a lesson in this department - that is for certain.

As I've mentioned before, I don't have a dimmer.  My switch is ON, or it's off...

Kalamazoo State Theatre, Kalamazoo, MI.  My home away from home.

I work at a beautiful, historic, old theatre.  Tucked in little coves along the theatre walls are these fantastic Liberace-esque candelabras.  Until a few years ago, their only light setting was on.  Really, really on.  We wanted to install dimmers so that we could dim the lights during our events to still have that romantic, old-school aesthetic, but we knew that it was going to be quite a tedious and laborious process to get it done.  This place is nearing 90 years old, and changes like this are always quite a feat.  Getting to wiring tucked in walls made of plaster, horse hair, and more is always a bit of a trick.  Every time I sneak into the theatre during a show and see the gentle glow, though, I'm reminded of how very much it was worth it.

I've been trying really hard to install my own dimmer, but apparently it required a couple of meetings, some brainstorming sessions, a cost-analysis, some compromise, and then some difficult rewiring to install this stinking dimmer.  Actually, I'd prefer to not think of it as a dimmer, but more of a...  balancer-thingamadoojob.  Yes, that's much better.

Nearly 90-year-old light control panel.  The
switches next to the tape marked "on" actually
turn on stars and clouds on the theatre ceiling.

I'm quite hard on myself when I'm not as diligent about my food.  I stress out when I have a day that I didn't work out, and I really get perturbed when there are a few days in a week where I don't work out.  But there is so much life happening - meeting people, changing circumstances, fun things that pop up, and more.  I've had so much fun getting out and about, making an effort to be present, do things, have fun with people, enjoy new and old friends.  My role at work has evolved in a wonderful way, bringing along new, interesting challenges, and I am one busy, busy bee.  Finding time for everything I want to make happen in a day is a challenge.

So many interesting, and thankfully, good things are happening.  I've been reminded recently by a few of you outstanding people who I've gotten to know through this blog that, sometimes, it is good and it is necessary to pause, reflect, see how far you've come, and appreciate where you're at.

I'm in the mood to turn the lights on full blast again.  Brighten it up a bit.  But, I suppose adjusting my balancer-thingmadoojob to let life happen every now & then won't kill me.  I may not be as full bore at all times as I have been, but I'm certainly enjoying the glow.

I want to ride my bicycle!

It's only May 20th and I've already had the immense pleasure of sitting poolside.  Twice!  I've also had the immense pleasure of getting into said pool, but it's only been filled for a week and despite the solar cover's best efforts, it was chilly. Quite chilly.  

After a lovely, lovely weekend of gardening, tan lines, bachelorette parties and more, I found myself overwhelmed with the urge to do one thing.

Well, two...

Bike.  Beer.

This afternoon while sitting outside sunbathing with my Motherperson, the mood struck me.  So, I declared that I was going to ride my bike tonight. Wherever, for however long I like.  

A couple of hours later, one pit-stop for a Miller Lite, and one gargantuan hill conquered, I'm home and a happy camper.  

Have a good week, my friends.

By the way, if you're looking for a tool to help you log your jogs, walks, bike rides, and so on, mapmyride.com is awesome!  

Goodbye, 200's!

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On a work-out date night with
my friend, Lindsey.

I was prepared for my weigh-in Tuesday morning.  It is a huge time of transition, and I must admit – I lost control the last couple of weeks.  I worked out hard, but I am hugely aggravated that, in a mentally and emotionally difficult time, I allowed myself to be comforted by indulging in food.  Well – and a few pretty magical craft beers.

I actually left the 200’s the week prior, but I didn’t want to commit to it because I knew that I’d messed it up.  I was certain.  So, I braced myself, stood on the scale, and to my complete surprise, I saw these numbers:

197.7

ONE HUNDRED ninety seven point seven pounds…

I’m really not in the 200’s anymore…  My weight really starts with a 1…  Can you even remember the last time you were in the 1’s?  The smallest weight I can remember is 216.  You are really, really for real in the 1’s, Sarah.  You’re really still there.  That sounds…  Normal…

Things are changing; so many things both in and out of my control.  And while there are many different ways these things have manifested, I realized it all boils down to this: 

I am finally okay with being me.

“Why is this a problem?” you ask?  Because more than being content and confident in myself, I have this little voice inside my head telling me to “know my place.” 

“You can’t say you’re pretty, or go for that, or try this, or think great things are possible for you – be humble,” I hear from some cruel, bossy place within me.  That is not humility. That is confusion, doubt, and fear rearing their ugly head. There has been a big, mean battle within me, and I seem to pull no punches.

No more.  I’m done with the 200’s, and I’m done with this battle.

Eat my shorts, 200's.  I kick and I punch.

Here is what has begun to sink in over the last couple of weeks:

I am a beautiful, loveable, smart, confident person who absolutely adores people and life, and has a good head on her shoulders.  I have no reason to doubt myself.  I have no reason to not stick to my guns.  I have no reason to cower.  I have no reason to feel unworthy.  I never used to be this way, I never should have begun, and I am finished with it.  

Moving into the 100’s, I’ve got to tell you – it’s an interesting time.  It’s a little scary.  And sometimes it’s hard.  And sometimes I freak out a little bit because I’m in a transition between who I was for a while, who I am, and who I’m becoming.  

I like who I’m becoming.

From top left to bottom right:  Me at about 320lbs in January 2011, me at over 300lbs in March of 2011, then
me at 60, 70, 80, 90lbs, and 100lbs lost!

If you'd like to catch up on the big milestones since I've started this here blog, feel free to check these out!

Sixty, Shimxty: Another 10lb Benchmark Smashed.
70lbs - Gone To The Fishes.
81lbs Get The Boot.
30's, Here I Come: Gained a year, and lost 90lbs.
Lost 101 Pounds and Found Myself.

Readers, have you already gone through some of these changes or find yourself in an interesting time of transition, yourself?  I would really love to hear from you.  How are you doing?  How did you get through it?  What advice can you give the rest of us, or what advice do you need from others?  There’s a pretty great group of you out there with invaluable life experience, so let’s share.

Hurts so good.

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Last weekend, my friend April came to visit the roomie and I, and she brought along an awesome workout video.  She also brought along 4 jars of Trader Joe's Better'N Peanut Butter - best $10 I've spent in a while!  The next best $14 I hope to spend, though, is on Ellen Barrett's Fat Burning Fusion dvd.

Everything about this video did it for me.  Even the way she spoke...  I'm weird - I don't like it when people talk all mellow and spacey.  Tell me what to do, inform me, guide me, and we're straight.  But anyway!  She incorporates classic ballet moves, pilates, and does it all without ever stopping moving.  It is a constant, fluid, concentrated effort on parts of your body that you won't even know you've worked out until you're wonderfully  sore for the next few days.  My hamstrings were feelin' it for about 4 days afterwards.

Why it worked for me:

• It worked out core/side, hamstring, and other muscles that I've been trying to target really, really well.
• It encourages balance with steady, constant, controlled movement that works your muscles and stretches out your body all at once.  
• She instructs very, very well with little insights that really help you do the moves effectively.  It's the littlest things, sometimes, that will take an exercise from being done incorrectly and ineffectively, to taking your breath away in the best way.
• It's accessible - there may be a couple of things out of some people's range of ability.  But aside from one or two things that I can think of, anyone could join in and get a good workout, whether you're already fit or just beginning.
• It's easy on my joints.  I have knees that sound like a tricycle creaking slowly over a gravel path, and this was very manageable.

I need this video!  I've been craving doing it again ever since.  This has inspired yet another list...  I've started my Weight-Loss Bucket List, and now I'm going to start an Exercise Wishlist.  Spinning is next!  Anything on your wish list?  What exercise, videos, etc. work for you?  Suggest and share!  I'm always up for something new.

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A Firming Affirmation.

Lovely Generic Photo of Snap Fitness

I met someone on Thursday night.  It was all niceties and happy conversation at first, then I let them start bossing me around.  And it hurts a bit.

Yes, I had my first go-round with a personal trainer.  She set me up with a workout plan at the new Snap Fitness that popped up near where I live.

It.
Was...
AWESOME.

It kicked off with us having a chat about my regular workout habits, and discussing what I wanted to get out of it.  The girl who I worked with seemed to really, genuinely love doing this.  I can't remember verbatim, but when I told her how excited I was to get to do all this, she said how great it is to get to work with people who have that mindset.

She started asking me about my exercise habits and what I'd like to get out of the workout we came up with.  I told her I wanted to burn calories, get stronger, and that I'd noticed that I lost weight more when I was doing things that worked my muscles, too.  She seemed really pleased with my answer, and very happy that I understood that I needed more than cardio.  She said that it was great to have an understanding that working muscles was essential to making your body burn calories more efficiently all throughout the day.  I told her certain areas that I wanted to work on, and she happily said, "I've got you covered."   I really love how it became very apparent she'd realized the type of workouter (made up word, yes) I was by my answers to her questions.

Apparently, I'm quite strong, and she seemed happy about that, too.  She seemed very excited to have me try out some five station circuit training thing that she does on what I call "the jungle gym."  You know the thing I mean...  It's got the handles on ropes, and a pull up thingy, and dudes are always doing stuff at it grunting awkwardly loud...  I'll be on that, yep.  And, she's going to have me bench press.  Bench press!  Ha!

As for the workout, though, I basically warmed up with a bit of cardio, then she walked me through different machines that worked my arms, back, core, thighs, and glutes.  The plan is to warm up, work muscles, then get 30-50 minutes of cardio in.  It was really well-rounded, and it was very interesting to see what parts of my body are weaker than others.  It's so funny how muscles in what seems to be the same part of your body have such different strength.

Afterwards, I was a bit surprised that one of the most rewarding things about the experience was all of the affirmation I got about what I'd already been doing and my overall mindset and ideas about things.  It feels really good when someone who knows what they're doing confirms that you're on the right track.  She loved that I was the type to say, "I've just got to get in 30 minutes" but wind up doing 45.  She seemed pleased that I did the full 10 minutes of cardio when she said to warm up with 5-10.  There were quite a few things that I did during the workout that seemed to really impress her, and got her excited to find ways to push me later.  Which, of course, makes me want to push myself even more.

So, I did on Saturday morning.  My muscles were still pretty fatigued from Thursday, but I just had to get it in.  There were a few things that already seemed easier.  I was more sore while doing the exercises, but I feel less sore now than I did before I worked out.  How about that?  And it felt good, once again, to get some nice reactions from the trainer.

I have this problem with not listening to myself enough.  I hear so many different people's stories, ideas, opinions, tips, tricks, and suggestions.  And for some reason, I feel that if I don't do it, I'm somehow being ungracious or rude, even if it's something contrary to what I think or would like to do.  So it feels really, really great to get affirmation from people who are trained in things like fitness and healthy eating.  I need to listen to myself, and not be so darn afraid to stick to my guns.

And I need to work on my shoulders...  Those girls are weak.  For real.

I'm so giddy to go back again.  I can not wait.

Turkey Day Preparation...

I am excited!  I love Thanksgiving.  I've been given the duty of picking out some pretty flowers for my family's centerpiece, which is wonderful because I love getting my Mom flowers.  I've also got a self-imposed last-minute duty of attempting a light, yummy, Thanksgivingy dish.  I am a prolific procrastinator, so I will be braving the aisles of some alarmingly busy grocery store this evening to buy ingredients to prepare...  Something.  The Mom suggested a salad, so I'm thinking about a fall salad with mixed greens, flaked smoked salmon, apples, dried cranberries, some good cheese and maybe some nuts.  We'll see.

I thought about getting a spice cake mix and mixing it with soda and pumpkin pie mix, but I have no idea how it'd turn out.  It just sounds good...  Maybe I'll go all experimental on everybody.  We'll see.  I think I'm going to save all of my dessert experimentation for Christmas!

In preparation for my day of mild food extravagance, though, I've decided to work out first thing in the morning.  This is partly because I need to in general, and partly because I want to burn off a bit of what I'll be eating later!  I can't eat as much as I used to, so I've come up with a bit of a game plan.

I'm going to grab about a soup-spoonful of all the things I'd like to eat.  I figure, if I get a wee bit of it all, I'll be stuffed, not having gone over the top, but also getting to taste it all!  That way I won't feel like tiny, orange men are about roll me away, but will be mighty content.

Byyy the way...

If you're a record fiend like I am, be SURE to visit your local record shops this Friday for Black Friday!  So many albums are being released - both new, and reissued classics, and I'm sure there will be some great sales around here on used stuff.  I can't wait.  AND!  Make sure to support local business on Small Business Saturday!  I'll partake in the madness at all the big stores, too, I'm sure.

I hope you all have a tremendous Thanksgiving!

If the shoe fits...

I really should start a regular posting called "I told you so:  Mother knows best."

When I decided to lose weight and exercise regularly, my Mom told me that I should go to my local athletic shoe shop down the street from where I work, fork out the dough, and get a really good pair of shoes to work out in.  I was reluctant because I'm an intermittent tightwad (I have a tendency to grossly overthink "important" purchases).

Well, she told me so.  I went to Gazelle Sports in Kalamazoo, Michigan and let them work their magic. I did check some out online that I wanted to see, but I decided ultimately to not look at any price tags, be open-minded about how the shoes looked (I always opt for vanity over practicality), and let the good people at Gazelle guide me.  They asked what I was looking for, watched me walk, asked what size I needed, and brought me out options.  I tried on a fair few pairs of shoes, and ended up trying on one that just felt like heaven.  I had no idea that shoes were supposed to be a bit loose, and that your arches are actually located directly below your ankle bones - not in the middle of your feet like I'd assumed.  I've been so used to "making it work."

I ended up spending $125 of my tax return on these babies, but it was worth every penny.  They're still in good shape, but I might get some insoles to perk up the soles of my feet again.  I can't believe the difference they made.  I took the dog on a three mile walk a few days after I got them, and my arches burned for a little bit, but then it made everything better.  My back wasn't as sore, my feet didn't get tired and cramp up or fall asleep, and it was great.

Honestly - investing in a really good pair of properly fitting workout shoes is one of the best things I could have done.  And, really - what better to invest in than making sure I have good tools to get healthy?

My advice...  Find a place in your area that knows what they're doing, and take the plunge.  It might seem crazy spending that much on a pair of tennis shoes, but it will be worth it!

This is how we do it. Part 1 - Get off your bum.

Yeah, that's an awful song and it's stuck in your head now, too.

Chunk doesn't like the idea of diets, either.

Thanks to a lovely person who commented on my last post, I realized I have never really told you guys about my struggles with losing weight my whole life, and what has helped me finally conquer this beast.

Well, one thing I can tell you that I know for certain from this process:  there are no quick fixes.  Gimmicks and crash diets will not last, and if we aren't willing to change our lifestyle, our lives simply will not change.

I really don't think of what I'm doing as a diet, but a bit more like taking a red pen and giving things a good edit.  I could very easily continue my current lifestyle for the rest of time, and I would be perfectly content.  I cannot emphasize the importance of this enough!  Balance is key!

So, how have I done it?  What are my tricks, tools, and a few of my favorite things? There is no way I could possibly fit it all into one blog (I'm not exactly known for my brevity in the talking department...).  The things that have made the biggest difference for me, though, are:

Staying active.
Logging what I eat and developing a more interesting, aware, balanced relationship with food.
Making good, calculated, conscious decisions knowing that the "feely" part will happen later.

We'll get to all three of those, but today one in particular is on the brain.

Getting off my duff.  Purposefully, and regularly.
I was active for most of my life.  College came, and I gained some fluff.  From being on my duff.  Oh, all this rhyming is making me a bit nauseous.  But, anyway.  After losing weight from dancing, walking everywhere, and spending all of my money on records rather than food, I moved home from England and got a desk job.
Depression from lack of England + desk job = chub.

If it's within your means, go see a doctor and get a trainer!  I love to push myself, but if I do things like squats and lunges more than a couple of times a week, it leaves me in great pain and I've got to take it easy for a couple of days.  There are a few things I'd really like to ask a Doctor about and get checked out.  Thanks to an amazing deal on Groupon, though, I will have a trainer to get tips from soon!  I'll always find it satisfying, though, getting past that point where you think you're done, only to feel like you could go all day.  And I love feeling sore the next day!

Exercise has absolutely helped bring me back to life.  I'm fitter, stronger and in better shape, but the difference it's made in my overall countenance is outstanding.  If you think starting to exercise sounds laborious and daunting, just wait to see the ogre in you that pops out when you've not done it in a few days.  Even if you only do it three or four times a week for about a half hour, you're still doing it!

I typically work out five or six times a week, even if I only have time for 20-30 minutes, but I really like to get a few in a week that are at least 45 minutes to an hour.  I do a whole assortment of things - walking, jogging, using my parents' elliptical machine, Tae Bo, pilates videos I've downloaded from Fit TV, or playing EA Active and Just Dance games on the Nintendo Wii.  If you've got OnDemand, there are dozens and dozens of workouts available!  Take the kids or your dogs on a walk.  Have "workout dates" with friends.  I like to do things alone most of the time; I push myself harder.  I do a lot of thinking when I work out.  Figure out what works for you, and do it.

I used to be the queen of absurd, self-imposed time constraints and excuses for not making it happen.  It's a bunch of nonsense!  Don't make excuses.  Adapt!  Change!  I didn't think I could.  Turns out I was wrong.  But, if you're anything like me, no amount of hearing it from others will make you do it.  Something had to give, and then I just got on with it.  It's such a cliché, but I wholeheartedly believe this...  If I can do it, so can you.

Today, I ended up taking some adorable puppies on two walks and spending an hour on the elliptical machine.  I feel GOOD.

What works for you guys?  What challenges or frustrations seem to be popping up?  Share!

Holiday Test-Drive - Fail.

"That time of year..." has begun with Halloween.  The holidays bring along so many lovely little anomalies, lots of last-minute-fun-things, and - well, yes...  Basically a great big barrel of really fun inconsistencies.  Inconsistencies that apparently aided in me gaining 1lb this week. I've shared my successes with you, so it'd be remiss of me not to share in my stumbles as well.  I haven't been awful this week, but I haven't been as diligent as I should.  And I can tell I consumed too much sodium yesterday (puffy hands & feet...), but I'm not giving myself a pass.  It's funny though, because I feel smaller, and seem to look smaller as well.  All's I know is that it is not a case of a plateau, it is a case of "Sort it OUT, Sarah!"

I was really hoping that all of the dancing on Halloween would do the trick!  Some of my girlfriends and I dressed up and went to my favorite dance party around here done by my favorite local DJ's, Bat Guano and Richard Bowser. Our adorable little group consisted of Wonder Woman (me...), Twister (she made a dress out of the game!), Brigitte Bardot, a Hot Mummy, and the Infamous Honey Badger.  And we danced - BOY, did we dance.  ELO, David Bowie, Devo, Michael Jackson, Arthur Brown's Fire, great old school R&B - it is impossible to have a bad time with those guys at the wheel.

My hair was so much better approximately 2 hours earlier...  My
Wonder Woman costume was awesome.  Photos will surface soon.

I've got to figure out how to get a good balance of all of this, because this last week was not my most successful!  I was very busy.  I tried to work out, but I only did "proper" workouts about three times and did not log my food as dutifully as I usually do.  In retrospect, I have not logged my food as well as I should for a few weeks.

A few things I've noticed since beginning this process:

1.  I cannot lose weight without regularly exercising at least 4 times a week.  

2.  I have to log every little thing I consume.

3.  I do better when I plan for my grab & go lifestyle by having pre-made foods, snacks, etc. around the house that allow me to eat a little bit several times during the day.  

4.  I have had several times where I've maintained, but only two when I've gained, and the reason for this has never been my body playing tricks on me despite my hard work; it has always been a case of user error.  So far.

So if Halloween were to have served as my pre-test for the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays, it taught me that I need to have a game plan.  I need to come up with a structure for the unstructured - decide how I'm going to attack all the unforeseeable wonderfulness that will undoubtedly come my way in the coming months!  And I need to remind myself that it is perfectly acceptable to just say no.

The Wonder Woman in me is on a mission to lose four pounds this week to make up for gaining a pound, and then some! Wish me luck, and I hope you all had a very fun Halloween.

Little Victories and Black Eyes

There are little things I do all the time that I would've been too hesitant to do before losing weight.  Sometimes I realize while I'm deciding to do something I haven't done in a while.  Sometimes it's a happy surprise right while I'm in the midst of it.  And other times, I don't realize until afterwards.  Whichever it is, it's always satisfying.  Pushing yourself is rewarding.  You simply must try it.  

"Like what?" you might ask...

Well, Sunday afternoon it was playing on the playset in my parents' back yard like I was five years old again with my five year old cousin.  Up, down, all around.  In the fort, out of the fort.  On the swing, off the swing.  

And...  I got to introduce my little cousin to swinging upside-down.  That adorable little goober will never look at a swing set the same way again.  

I would have been way too timid to do it before.  But now?  What-ev.  It’s not that I was too scared to be upside-down, I just felt less in-control of my body and what might happen.  There was a whole lot of me to handle!  I have so much less self doubt, and so more much physical freedom.  

My little cousin and I ended up swinging, feet up in the air, so that each time we'd swing back, we were facing each other.  So, I said, "Helloooooo, sir!"  And then it went a bit like this...

Me: "Helloooooo, sirrr!"

...swing...

Him: "Hellooo!"

...swing...

Me:  "Mighty fine day we're having, yes?"

...swing...

Him:  "Yes! Are you having a good day?"

...swing..."

Me:  "Yes, indeeeed!"

...swing...

Him:  "Me, tooo!"

...swing...

Me:  "Perfect day for swinging upside-down don't you think?"

...swing...

Him:  "Yes!  Helloooooooo!"

It.  Was.  GREAT!!!  Oh, man, do I ever love kids.  And upside down silliness.  

In all my grand, childish bliss, I did manage to forget how all the blood rushing to my face for - ehhhh, quite a while, could result in blackish eyes and a handful of small blood vessels breaking in my face.  Oh well - well-earned battle scars from my latest little victory!

No-Guilt Yum-Yum for Your Tum-Tum

This morning, while deliriously flailing my arms about trying to kill my clock that had just startlingly interrupted a comatose sleep, there was a “BANG-BANG-BANG!!!” on my door.  Then, I heard my roommate’s cheeky four-year-old voice saying, “Hey Saywuhhhhh, wanna go for a walk and get Starrrrbuuuucks?”  I didn’t know what the heck was going on, but some conscious part of me knew that it sounded like a great idea. 

So, today's been a great day thus far; a walk in the rain, Starbucks, and then lunch, all for less than 380 total calories. 

What’d I get at Starbucks? 
Venti Iced Americano with Splenda and 3-4 tablespoons of skim milk.  Total:  45 calories.

Don't fear me!

What’d I eat for lunch? 
Avocado Tuna Salad sandwich and a cup of watermelon.  Total:  333 calories.

Avocado Tuna Salad Ingredients (serves 2):  

1 whole avocado, delightfully squished with a potato masher
2 tablespoons of Kraft Light Miracle Whip (tastes equally good with Light Mayo)
1 can of tuna in water
2 Earthgrains 100% Multi-Grain Thin Bun
10 cucumber slices

Can I make a lunch for fewer calories?  
Yes.  But, I know that I need to incorporate things like avocados that are full of healthy fats, essential vitamins and even more potassium than bananas.  I'm trying to be healthy, not just lose weight.  I love it because it’s a filling, wholesome, balanced lunch.   And it’s just plain yummy.  

Now, it’s workout time.  Hope you’re having a good day, too.

 

Sweaty beats.

Key to good workout music?  Be your own DJ.  If it’s got a good tempo, if it makes you happy, if it makes you want to dance, add it.  If it just makes you incredibly happy, add it!  I mean, who’d think that “Stuck in the Middle with You” by Steelers Wheel would make it into a workout mix?  Well, it makes me happy, and it’s a great warmup pace.  So I use it.  There’s no wrong or right.  Just do it.

I’ve got a somewhat regular mix I use, but my roommate, Caity, and I thought it would be fun to give you our top 10 workout songs each month.  So for the month of August, here you go!

Sarah's top picks...  Listen here!

Chicago - Old Days
ELO - Boy Blue
Steelers Wheel - Stuck in the Middle With You
George Baker Selection - Little Green Bag
T. Rex - 20th Century Boy
David Bowie - Sufragette City
Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - Roadrunner
Crystal Castles - Vanished
Joy Division - Isolation
XTC - Helicopter

Caity's top picks...  Listen here!  
White Stripes - Hotel Yorba
The Knack - My Sharona
Tori Amos - Big Wheel
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Date with the Night
Talking Heads - Lifetime Piling Up
Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song
Lady Gaga - Just Dance
Modest Mouse - Dashboard
James - Laid
Fleetwood Mac - Don't Stop

It was so hard to pick just 10.
What would you have in your mix?  Do tell!