30 by 30 - Quick Update

In case you haven't read, I set myself a new goal of losing 30 pounds by the time I turn 30 on December 19th.

I really hate it every time I type the words "...I turn 30..."  Bleh.

I really don't hate that I lost 2.6 pounds this week and I have 23.7 pounds more to go before I hit my 30 pound goal.  That means I've got to lose two pounds a week to hit this goal.  And it also means I have to do it the week of Thanksgiving.  

I think I can, I think I can...

Actually, I know I can.  And I'm looking forward to the satisfaction of knowing that I enjoyed myself over the holidays this year without going overboard.  

I'm not really sure how to close this one out seeing as it's just a quick here's-what's-up post, sooo...  Have a good day, or listen to this song because it's making me really happy today, or something.  There you go.

Zucchini Bread, and Doughnuts, and Piggies - oh my.

So, there are just some things that scream "fall."  Trips to orchards, corn mazes, pumpkins, squash, cider mills, Mom's baking...

We're getting closer and closer to the times of year that are by far the easiest to justify guilty pleasures.  While I am not going to deprive myself completely of these yummy things, I am going to challenge myself to say no.  Just because it's there, doesn't mean I'm obligated to imbibe.  It just so happens that while cleaning today, my butternut squash reminded me of how far I've come.

On that note, this week, I did partake in a few things...  But, don't worry - all things in moderation, friends.  I had some of my mom's Chocolate Chip Zucchini Bread, a few beers out with my roommate, some movie popcorn, and...   Ohhhh, only one of the greatest things you can get in southwest Michigan after September: pumpkin doughnuts from Gull Meadow Farms.  I'm not an avid doughnut fan, but those are just magical.


While I was a good girl other than that this week, I still know what eating those foods does to me.  I learned a lot about myself and how food affects me this summer.  The week of the 4th of July, I didn't eat as healthy as usual, but I did stay within my daily goals.  With exercising every day, I just managed to maintain my weight.

So, again - moderation.

Apparently, though, I lack emotional moderation while holding little, adorable, pet piggies named Penelope.  Thanks to the roomie for catching me during a few (not so) rare moments of ridiculousness.

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Sweaty Beats II

Caity and I are back this month with a bunch of amazableness to treat your ears while inflicting some pain on your fluff.  I'm pretty sure both of our lists will make you go "RARRRR!" at some point.  I just did it while posting this.  And I'm at work.

I think Caity might win this time because she picked Benny Goodman.  How can you go wrong with classic swing?!  Mine's pretty awesome, though...  Actually, both lists are pretty darn awesome.  Aaaanyway...

Here are our top 10 picks to work out to for the month!  Be sure to mention your favorites down below!

Sarah's top picks...  Listen here!
Fatboy Slim - Right Here, Right Now
Death In Vegas - Hands Around My Throat
De La Soul - Three Is The Magic Number
Ratatat - Seventeen Years
Foster The People - Helena Beat
Ladytron - White Elephants
St. Vincent - Northern Lights
Interpol - PDA
The Jam - Start!
Devo - Uncontrollable Urge
The Damned - New Rose

Yes, that's 11, but I couldn't decide which one to let go of and it's my blog, so...  Go right ahead and picture me sticking my tongue out at you, because that's what I'm doing in my mind.


Caity's top picks...  Listen here!
Spoon - I Turn My Camera On
The White Stripes - My Doorbell
The Proclaimers - 500 miles
Devo - Girl U Want
The Misunderstood - Children of The Sun
Led Zeppelin - When The Levee Breaks
Blondie - One Way or Another
The Kinks - You Really Got Me
Benny Goodman - Sing Sing Sing (With A Swing)
Razorlight - In The Morning


Enjoy!

30 by 30

Today is precisely three months before the most daunting birthday of my lifetime so far.  While I am often happily mistaken for being 24-25 years old, and although I still seem to think I am and function thusly, I am not.  I am 29, and I am exactly three months from turning the dreaded, big THREE-OH. 

Oh, oh, no…

I absolutely cannot believe that I, Sarah Bauman, am merely months away from being an age that begins with a three. Other than somehow reverting to toddler-dom...  

But, y’know what? 

The only photo I can find of me DJing.  He  said, "It's cooler not to
smile," which made me smile. Not everyone's as cool as you, Graham...

I am starting to understand why so many people say your 30’s are so much better than your 20’s.  When I look back with my rosey-fuzzy-wuzzy-yay-I’m-young goggles on, I see how my early 20’s started off with a bang.  I was living in England, going to school, DJing, working with my awesome friends at a  great music venue, living life with a kind of starry-eyed zeal that, I suppose, should be expected of a young 20-something living out her dream abroad.  I often look back on it so fondly that I forget about the depression that set in during my 2^nd year there. 

There was a tragedy that took my roommate at the time back to the US for quite a while.  For some reason, being home alone so much seemed to fuel my downward mental spiral, despite my best efforts to stay insanely busy and happily distracted.  Parts of my life were outstanding, but others began crumbling.  In my dense haze of depression, I made some mistakes.  There were things out of my control that landed me back in the USA, and my mistakes made that possible.

And that's when things really got bad.

If I take off those rosey-fuzzy-wuzzy-yay-I'm-young goggles and look back at 24, I see a sad, miserable, stagnant person who was deeply discouraged about losing her dream and ending up back in a place she had no desire to be, doing things she had no desire to do, allowing herself to be consumed by her unhealthy, destructive mind.  My confidence had been annihilated.  I was defined by my failure and did not believe I would ever be capable of not-failing.   

And what of this Sarah who is drawing ever nearer the infamous three-oh? 

I battle daily with this little demon called “premature failure.”  I keep myself from doing things by rationalizing the impossibility of my success, so that I don’t have to deal with inevitable failure.  You can see the Catch 22 in this, I’m sure…  The exciting part is, I know this now, and I’m working on it.  This blog is evidence of me making conscious decisions to do something, despite my own self doubt. 

I really am a late bloomer who is coming into her own as a nearly-thirty-something.  So why not have a super sweet goal to make turning 30 even better?

Last Monday, I decided to set myself a goal of losing 30 pounds by the time I turn 30, which is exactly three months from today.  So, let's make it official.  It’s 10 pounds a month, which will be a challenge, but I know I’m up for it. 

Huzzah! 

I’m a little grossed out that this post reads a bit too much like a diary, but I’ve got to tell you – I find myself oozing joy from writing this.  It’s exciting when the future is more exciting than daunting.  It’s about 53% exciting and 47% daunting, but exciting’s still on the winning end.

Wish me luck, and I’ll keep you all updated on my progress.

Little Victories

I now understand why laptops got their name.  You can use them on... your... lap.  Remarkable!  

Whatever, No-hands Smug-face...
I can do it now, too.

After my weekly workout date with my dear friend, Lindsey, I wanted to look something up, so I grabbed my laptop, set it on my lap, and googled, or imdb-ed, or whatever-ed away.  I remember being elated a few months ago after realizing I could finally use my laptop on my lap.  When I mentioned this to her, she said, "Hmm, I never would've though of that..."  If you find yourself puzzled by this also, well, let me explain it simply for you: my tummy wanted my lap all to itself and wouldn't allow me to use laptops in their intended state.  I'd either use it at a table, or with some creative rigging to use it in the general lap-type area.  Come to think of it, there are a lot of creative/rigging type things I've done in the past due to my body interfering...

But now?  Ha!  Laptop!

I bet this means the next time I fly I won't have to try and make it appear as though the tray in front of me is comfortably in its resting position when it is, in fact, actually balancing on my belly...

I can not wait until I finally get to test that one out.  

Sixty, Shmixty: Another 10lb Benchmark Smashed

According to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, the average nine-year-old weighs about 60 pounds.  I am happy to announce that I have finally gotten rid of an obnoxious, burdensome nine-year-old child.  And their four pound teddy bear. 

I’ve hovered at 59.5 pounds for the last few weeks.  Despite working out, things have been tight and I haven’t been eating as regularly and as balanced as I should.  You’d think I'd lose weight that way, but no – it messes with my body.  So after a week of good eatin’ as well as regularly working out, I lost 4.5 pounds, which puts me at 252.8.  I am SO close to being on the lower end of the 200’s. 

I remember celebrating with my roommate when the 300’s were a thing of the past.  Now, they’re long gone, never to be seen again.  Then I was out of the 290’s, then the 280’s, and now – I’m 3 pounds away from being nearer to the 100’s than the 300’s.  And I will never go back. 

I was a total nail-biter for most of my life.  Then, a few years ago, I wanted to stop.  So, I did.  When I finally make up my mind about something, it’s done.  And I don’t go back.  I just wish it didn’t take me so long to finally just do it. 

Grey pants on left: at my heaviest, a size 28, and well over 300 pounds.  Skirt in center: I'd lost a little weight last  year and
 was excited I could uncomfortably wear this size 26, still over 300 pounds.  Jeans on the right:  my old size 24 "skinny jeans"
that I could barely fit into when I started this process in March at 316.5 pounds.  I'm now a size 18 on bottom, and 16/18 on top.  

If you’re wondering what my goal is, join the club.  Not even I know.  Right now, I’m getting there 10 pounds at a time.  The weird thing is, the more I lose, the more I’m realizing how much more I have to go.  There really, truly is a smaller person underneath all of this than I ever realized.  So, why try to pin down something I don’t even quite grasp yet?  

I do know what I want, though. 

I want to be a healthy, fit, vibrant person.  I want to have an overall downward trajectory in my weight loss, even if there are a few squiggles in the line along the way.  I want others to be encouraged by my experiences, especially the odd ones that only someone who’s been there might understand.  I want others to know they can do this.  I want to constantly find joy in the small ways that my life has changed, knowing that a huge thing is happening. 

And I want to go shopping, but we’ll talk about that another day.  

No-Guilt Yum-Yum for Your Tum-Tum

This morning, while deliriously flailing my arms about trying to kill my clock that had just startlingly interrupted a comatose sleep, there was a “BANG-BANG-BANG!!!” on my door.  Then, I heard my roommate’s cheeky four-year-old voice saying, “Hey Saywuhhhhh, wanna go for a walk and get Starrrrbuuuucks?”  I didn’t know what the heck was going on, but some conscious part of me knew that it sounded like a great idea. 

So, today's been a great day thus far; a walk in the rain, Starbucks, and then lunch, all for less than 380 total calories. 

What’d I get at Starbucks? 
Venti Iced Americano with Splenda and 3-4 tablespoons of skim milk.  Total:  45 calories.

Don't fear me!

What’d I eat for lunch? 
Avocado Tuna Salad sandwich and a cup of watermelon.  Total:  333 calories.

Avocado Tuna Salad Ingredients (serves 2):  

1 whole avocado, delightfully squished with a potato masher
2 tablespoons of Kraft Light Miracle Whip (tastes equally good with Light Mayo)
1 can of tuna in water
2 Earthgrains 100% Multi-Grain Thin Bun
10 cucumber slices

Can I make a lunch for fewer calories?  
Yes.  But, I know that I need to incorporate things like avocados that are full of healthy fats, essential vitamins and even more potassium than bananas.  I'm trying to be healthy, not just lose weight.  I love it because it’s a filling, wholesome, balanced lunch.   And it’s just plain yummy.  

Now, it’s workout time.  Hope you’re having a good day, too.

 

Fat Archaeology

Christmas, 1992: our family had gone to the theatre to see a holiday movie.  On the television screens in the lobby, I saw someone drill a tiny hole into an amber stone, insert a needle, then pull out dino-DNA from a mosquito.

Would consider being chased by these if it

meant Jeff Goldbum would save me.

Blood rushed to my face, adrenalin surged through my body, and I was beside myself insisting we absolutely had to see it.  Of course, I was ecstatic afterwards, despite being terrified that Velociraptors were going to chase me up the stairs and “compies” (Compsognathus) were going to nibble my toes if I let my feet dangle off of my bed.

I wanted so badly to be an Archaeologist and used to daydream about Egyptian ruins, Mayan temples, and most of all, how exciting it would be discovering dinosaurs’ remains. 

After all my dreaming, I’ve finally had a few successful discoveries.  They are as follows:

My collar bones. 
My knees. 
My elbows. 
Some kind of bones in my butt I can feel when I sit flat on the floor…
My ribs.
My knuckles.
I could be mistaken, but I do appear to have shoulders forming.  Will report back when officially confirmed.

Knuckles exposed.

I had no idea there was unfluffy matter underneath that extraneous, uncharted, fatty landscape.  Now, the downside to revealing these bones: less safety padding than there used to be.  It is highly likely that my clumsiness will result in pain due to the lack of natural cushioning.  Nevertheless!  I am happy to be making these discoveries, and have dubbed the discovery process of my body revealing its hidden features “Fat Archaeology.”

If you’ve never been as overweight as I have, this may seem a bit silly.   Well, Fat Archaeology really is a bit silly – but it’s thrilling to see and feel things I never have before.  The weight loss process is so full of little victories every day that no one else may understand.  These little victories (physically, mentally, and spiritually) could happen at any moment.  And while they may seem small, these are by far the most huge and most rewarding victories I have encountered along the way. 

You’re going to see mini-blogs on here regularly entitled “Fat Archaeology” and “Little Victories.”  I would absolutely love to hear about your “Little Victories.”  Feel free to post your unique, odd, embarrassing, thrilling, little victories that pop up out of nowhere on here, or on my facebook page.  

By the way – no, I did not have to look up Compsognathus. 

That’s, Like, Soooo Seven Years Ago…

There is nothing greater than looking through old photos and seeing the clothing and hair choices you made in your younger days.

Oh, wait…

I came across an outfit I wore more than anything else while I lived in England.  Sesame Street Fever T-Shirt, holey jeans that have been patched by other chopped up clothing over and over again, and this gold belt I wore every day.  The only thing I’m missing is the pair of black Chucks I wore to the point of disintegration (literally – I’d duct taped them together).  So, as I nearly always do when cleaning my room, I got distracted and started playing dress up. 

First thought?
“Really?  I used to wear this?  Hmm…  I’m so glad I stopped just admiring fashion and started wearing it…”

Second thought…

“Ha!  They’re HUGE!!!”

I have felt so incredibly defeated lately about so many things, including the fact that I’ve only lost about 1 pound in the last two weeks.  Then I try on clothes from the time I was the happiest I’ve ever been, both with life and with myself, and they’re too big.  Or, should I say, I’m now too small for them.  I had to remind myself, “You have lost nearly 60 pounds since March.  YOU have lost nearly 60 pounds since March...” 

So, in honor of being too small for your clothes, there is a photo above with an outfit that made me feel invincible back then, and a view of what Sarah (yes, my stomach just turned a bit at the realization I spoke in third person) right now would wear and feel equally awesome. 

Third thought.
“Hmm.  This is awesome.  I should totally wear this again…”

We’ll have to see about that.

Photo 1…  Cardigan: Who Knows.  Jeans/Gold Belt: Evans.  Sesame Street Fever Tee: Disney World.

Photo 2…  Shirt/Pants/Black Wedge Ankle Boots/Ted Baker Four Bow Bangle Bracelet: ASOS Curve. 
Grey Faux Suede Moto Jacket:  Evans.  Gold Triangle Necklace/Chain Strap Red Crossbody Bag: Urban Outfitters.