Goodbye, 200's!

Tweet

On a work-out date night with
my friend, Lindsey.

I was prepared for my weigh-in Tuesday morning.  It is a huge time of transition, and I must admit – I lost control the last couple of weeks.  I worked out hard, but I am hugely aggravated that, in a mentally and emotionally difficult time, I allowed myself to be comforted by indulging in food.  Well – and a few pretty magical craft beers.

I actually left the 200’s the week prior, but I didn’t want to commit to it because I knew that I’d messed it up.  I was certain.  So, I braced myself, stood on the scale, and to my complete surprise, I saw these numbers:

197.7

ONE HUNDRED ninety seven point seven pounds…

I’m really not in the 200’s anymore…  My weight really starts with a 1…  Can you even remember the last time you were in the 1’s?  The smallest weight I can remember is 216.  You are really, really for real in the 1’s, Sarah.  You’re really still there.  That sounds…  Normal…

Things are changing; so many things both in and out of my control.  And while there are many different ways these things have manifested, I realized it all boils down to this: 

I am finally okay with being me.

“Why is this a problem?” you ask?  Because more than being content and confident in myself, I have this little voice inside my head telling me to “know my place.” 

“You can’t say you’re pretty, or go for that, or try this, or think great things are possible for you – be humble,” I hear from some cruel, bossy place within me.  That is not humility. That is confusion, doubt, and fear rearing their ugly head. There has been a big, mean battle within me, and I seem to pull no punches.

No more.  I’m done with the 200’s, and I’m done with this battle.

Eat my shorts, 200's.  I kick and I punch.

Here is what has begun to sink in over the last couple of weeks:

I am a beautiful, loveable, smart, confident person who absolutely adores people and life, and has a good head on her shoulders.  I have no reason to doubt myself.  I have no reason to not stick to my guns.  I have no reason to cower.  I have no reason to feel unworthy.  I never used to be this way, I never should have begun, and I am finished with it.  

Moving into the 100’s, I’ve got to tell you – it’s an interesting time.  It’s a little scary.  And sometimes it’s hard.  And sometimes I freak out a little bit because I’m in a transition between who I was for a while, who I am, and who I’m becoming.  

I like who I’m becoming.

From top left to bottom right:  Me at about 320lbs in January 2011, me at over 300lbs in March of 2011, then
me at 60, 70, 80, 90lbs, and 100lbs lost!

If you'd like to catch up on the big milestones since I've started this here blog, feel free to check these out!

Sixty, Shimxty: Another 10lb Benchmark Smashed.
70lbs - Gone To The Fishes.
81lbs Get The Boot.
30's, Here I Come: Gained a year, and lost 90lbs.
Lost 101 Pounds and Found Myself.

Readers, have you already gone through some of these changes or find yourself in an interesting time of transition, yourself?  I would really love to hear from you.  How are you doing?  How did you get through it?  What advice can you give the rest of us, or what advice do you need from others?  There’s a pretty great group of you out there with invaluable life experience, so let’s share.

Little Victory!

Tweet

Brief but awesome...

My wrist is now small enough to do this.

That is all.

Tweet

Lunch & Black Mountain for 195 calories. Lovely.

Tweet

I locked myself away in my room yesterday getting work done, but it really was enjoyable!  The soundtrack to my day was mighty fine.  It started with a Classic Soft Rock compilation full of goodies like Hall & Oates and Bread (don't even pretend you haven't sang along to them, too...).

The winning combination, though?  

This wrap...

Tumaro's Low Carb 95% Fat Free Gourmet Tortilla
2tbs Sabra Classic Hummus
2tbs rinsed black beans
1/4 medium red pepper
1/2 cup bean sprouts
1 cup raw spinach


195 Calories.  Nice.






And, the first two albums by Black Mountain.  I suggest you click the pics & check them out.

Tweet

Fat Archaeology: From dirt to display.

Tweet

I wonder if, when mummies were buried, they somehow knew that one day they might be on display.  Maybe they had some kind of will which stated, "I have been, and always will be smokin' and your mummification process had better show it off, or I will come haunt you.  I'm not kidding."  

Archaeologists’ initial intent might not have been simply to discover something so that others could see it.  But regardless of their paleontological aspirations, their dino-skeletons and ancient Egyptian kings have wound up behind glass for anyone who wishes to walk by, inspect, and discover for the first time themselves. 

While taking a leisurely stroll and chatting with my roomie the other night, she brought to light an aspect of Fat Archaeology that I had never anticipated: other people discovering me, too. 

Ouchy.  Did you know there's
a tendon there?!

This laborious, persistent excavation has revealed much more about me than I anticipated.  While scraping back layer by fluffy layer, I’ve come across collar bones, knuckles, knees and shoulder blades.  I’ve accidentally cut myself shaving where bones were once hidden behind a cushy, cushy buffer.  After the dirt’s been brushed aside and artifacts have been exhumed, there is infinitely more to be discovered. 

What is it that makes you want to stop and check out the mummy behind the glass, though?  Yeah, they look cool – but I bet they’ve got an awesome little placard next to them telling you about where they came from, what they did, and other interesting facts about their life.  This is what makes the discovery so appealing, and this is what has made it possible for me, and others, to discover me. 

I’m more open to allowing others to discover me because of all of these wonderful changes I’ve gone through.  I’m enjoying making myself more visible, whether it’s putting makeup on before going skiing so I feel a little sassier because you never know who you’ll bump into, or getting bolder with fashion because I’m confident enough to finally wear what I like.  After I realize that I’ve been checked out, I always find it wonderfully bizarre.  It really is a bit weird.  I don’t know why I feel this way, but I do.  It is good, yes.  But, weird. 

It’s one thing to catch a glimpse of myself walking down the street and think, “Ha – CUTE!!!”  It’s another to walk down the wrong aisle at the grocery store, have a handsome man smile at you as you walk by, and smile back.  Then, said handsome man smiles at you again on the way out, offers to carry your bag knowing full well that all you’re carrying is a box of tin foil.  So, you let him, and he walks you to your car and says goodnight. 

Placard read, subject observed.  Score.  

I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t looking forward to getting to a point where I’d feel better about myself and start having a few people stop, read my placard, and gaze through the glass for a little while.  And, alas, it is happening. 

Here is the beauty of not being a mummy behind glass any longer.  I can smile back.  I can be the exuberant, confident person who is eager to fully participate in life, and let other people admire it, too.   

Tweet

Happy St. Pats, you crazy cats.

Pin It Tweet

I wore this...  (From two angles, because I love the sides of the boots and was excited you could see my collar bones in the first one. Haha.)

Old Navy Ballet Neck Tshirt, Green/turquoise skirt from Target, Nine West hidden wedge boots,
leopard print skinny belt from Lane Bryant.

Danced to this...  (Thanks to my favorite WIDR DJs from our local college radio.)

Watched a friends band...





Then woke up today only wanting to hear this.



And it's been mighty good.  Hope you had a good one, too!

Pin It Tweet

Tuna Squared.

Pin It Tweet


I ate tuna twice today.  I can't help it.  I am a fish-monster.  I am also an apple-monster lately, but today?  Fish-monster.  I was curious to see if I could find some information about what are typically healthy amounts of fish to consume, and just happened to come across howmuchfish.com. 8 ounces of fish in a day is pretty darn reasonable; no worries here.  But...  Obviously, the best source of finding out anything like this would be visiting your doctor.  In the meantime, I found this website quite informative!  I definitely eat fish quite a few times a week, but not necessarily more than once a day.  I was so pleased with my food today, I just had to share.


Lunch...
Can of tuna, 2 cups spinach, 1/4 of an orange bell pepper chopped, 5 sliced strawberries, dash of grated parmesan, sprinkled with balsamic vinegar.  And only 200 lovely, delicious calories.

Dinner...

4oz seared ahi tuna seasoned with garlic powder, lime, ginger and pepper.  On the side, 2 cups steamed broccoli with some ginger & garlic powder.  It's simple, it's quick, and it's really good.  I'll make it look all staged and pretty for you some other time!  Tonight, I had more important things to do, like, eat it.  I typically cook it for maybe 2 minutes on either side, just long enough to cook the outside edges, leaving the inside rare and pink.  I was a bit distracted playing catch with adorable puppies, though.  Still great!  And also only 200 lovely, delicious calories.

Sometime in the next week, I'm planning on making fish tacos with some blue marlin that's been living in my freezer for about a month.  It is time.  If it turns out well, I'll be sure to provide the recipe!

Pin It Tweet

Hurts so good.

Pin It Tweet

Last weekend, my friend April came to visit the roomie and I, and she brought along an awesome workout video.  She also brought along 4 jars of Trader Joe's Better'N Peanut Butter - best $10 I've spent in a while!  The next best $14 I hope to spend, though, is on Ellen Barrett's Fat Burning Fusion dvd.

Everything about this video did it for me.  Even the way she spoke...  I'm weird - I don't like it when people talk all mellow and spacey.  Tell me what to do, inform me, guide me, and we're straight.  But anyway!  She incorporates classic ballet moves, pilates, and does it all without ever stopping moving.  It is a constant, fluid, concentrated effort on parts of your body that you won't even know you've worked out until you're wonderfully  sore for the next few days.  My hamstrings were feelin' it for about 4 days afterwards.

Why it worked for me:

• It worked out core/side, hamstring, and other muscles that I've been trying to target really, really well.
• It encourages balance with steady, constant, controlled movement that works your muscles and stretches out your body all at once.  
• She instructs very, very well with little insights that really help you do the moves effectively.  It's the littlest things, sometimes, that will take an exercise from being done incorrectly and ineffectively, to taking your breath away in the best way.
• It's accessible - there may be a couple of things out of some people's range of ability.  But aside from one or two things that I can think of, anyone could join in and get a good workout, whether you're already fit or just beginning.
• It's easy on my joints.  I have knees that sound like a tricycle creaking slowly over a gravel path, and this was very manageable.

I need this video!  I've been craving doing it again ever since.  This has inspired yet another list...  I've started my Weight-Loss Bucket List, and now I'm going to start an Exercise Wishlist.  Spinning is next!  Anything on your wish list?  What exercise, videos, etc. work for you?  Suggest and share!  I'm always up for something new.

Pin It Tweet